The 5 Missing Realities of “Have To” Belief Systems

Many people prioritise or judge their own lives (or others) based on a “Have To” belief system or mentality.

It is important to identify and think about how our internal dialogue powers our decision-making and our sense of self, confidence, esteem and more. A lot of us live life in an almost unconscious “life-by-rote” automatic, habitual way – we don’t question or explore what we are doing, where it came from, or why.

Our Vibrant Life Key #4 is all about changing this; beginning to truly delve into how we think and feel, changing that which isn’t working for us (or “life-taking”) while celebrating and perpetuating or expanding what is integral and life-giving.

A “Have To” belief system breeds use of the word ‘should’ which is often linked to harsh, unrealistic goals, negative self-talk or judging your behaviour based on someone else’s value system or expectations, not your own.

Stop SHOULDING all over yourself!

An interesting learning is that the following five realities are often ignored or not understood/identified. They have an immense potential power – they can re-frame the ‘have to’ mindset and lead to better quality decisions and motivations:

1. You CHOOSE How You Feel.

2. You Don’t HAVE To Do Anything…

…many times you are CHOOSING to do something in order to avoid what you perceive as a negative consequence.

3. If You CONTINUE Choosing To Do Something You Dislike…

…causing you to live under ongoing chronic stress, you are choosing to commit (slow) suicide.

4. There Are CLEAR And CERTAIN Health Benefits Which Arise…

…or are associated with choosing a healthy way to feel about your situation or choosing a healthier situation (plus a great many probable, but as yet not conclusively proven benefits too!)

5. You Don’t ACTUALLY Know For Certain WHAT The Negative Consequences Will Be…

…if you choose to discontinue your current pattern.

The only certainty is that if you choose to make healthier choices, you will experience greater health and happiness.

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Dr. Ben Phillips